world introduction: Ookraia

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fruityloops
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world introduction: Ookraia

Post by fruityloops »

i'm a bit nervous with this one but i'm going to share it anyway. note: most of the pictures are done by me.

Image


What is Ookraia

Ookraia is the main setting of kaiego and where most of the series takes place. Things to keep in mind about this setting is: It’s a hidden world that overlaps with earth. The inhabitants are known as Bugfolk, humanoid invertebrate people. It’s more of a collective term than a race name. The people in this world are much smaller, being their appropriate size of the species they’re based on. Although there’s a myriad of races, we have narrowed it down to 9 races to assure not too scare away to many people. The tech level is low level with the occasional advanced tech that's similar to steampunk and magitek.

Origins

The world first began as normal. Trilobites were about to enter land but were guided by ancient gods that helped them in times of need. During this era, a energy called ego pre-existed and was never tamed. It flowed everything, even the trill themselves. they however, didn’t know how to harness this energy. One of their kind had finally found a way to harness it’s essence. He used objects to bind the ego into small towers called Runepillars. Each pillar had aligned themselves to a different direction, dictating the properties of that rune.
Image
In the dawn of time, there five named directions of nature. The ocean, the flame, the grass, and the sky. The center being the soul. These directions comprise the sections of the great yonder, or the spirit world. Methods of using these directions were rendered impossible as ego was hard to contain. Eventually, a new craft called weaving was made.

Lexicon
  • Hoppers - slang for hopaki.
  • Gone with the spirits/ became one with the Yonder/ passed to the yonder - slang for passing away or died.
  • Shaman - the wizards or mages of this setting. They uses objects or their selves to merge with spirits in order to use magic.
  • Dung - curse word for crap.
  • dunghead/beetlebrain - dumb
  • Ego - energy that flows through everything
  • Mana - aura that indicates arthourity.
  • Cleric - a type of shaman that binds with a healing spirit in order to heal others.
  • Weavecraft - a type of magic that weaves a certain type of ego to do magic.
  • The five directions of nature - the directions of ego that dictates what a shaman casts. The west is the ocean, the east is the flame, the north is the sky, and the south is the grass or ground.
  • Giants - humans in this setting. They got the name for being many times larger than the average resident of Ookraia. Many Bugfolk see them as immortal.
  • Draku - reptiles, mammals, or birds. Many like to eat the Bugfolk.
  • Pit ball - a game commonly played by many tribes. Two teams compete to see who scores the most balls in other teams hole in the wall. The team that gets most wins the game
Last edited by fruityloops on 18 Sep 2018 20:08, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by gestaltist »

fruityloops wrote: 25 Jan 2018 22:57 i'm a bit nervous with this one but i'm going to share it anyway. note: most of the pictures are done by me.
I like your drawing style although I'm not a big fan of having women always be portrayed as half-naked chicks. It's such a cliche by now.
Velyra is the main setting of kaiego and where most of the series takes place.
What's kaiego?
Although there’s a myriad of races, we have narrowed it down to 9 races to assure not too scare away to many people.
Who is "we"? What do you mean you narrowed it down if there's still a myriad of races?
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by Axiem »

gestaltist wrote: 25 Jan 2018 23:29 I like your drawing style although I'm not a big fan of having women always be portrayed as half-naked
I agree with this sentiment. If you're going to do it, at least also make the men half-naked and attractive, as well. Some good beefcake can go a long way.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by fruityloops »

thanks, no worries. i'll add another pic for variety. just a covered up female not a guy.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by Reyzadren »

I shall give a minority opinion comment:

5/5 for your conworld. Anything with steampunk and magitek gets my attention! I also like the way you did your post: It gives a general overview of the conworld without being overly specific with details that I don't care about.

Additionally, I think that you should keep the half-naked women. There are already too many people/conworlds aiming for realism, that's even more of a cliche than yours. Your pictures are a breath of fresh air amongst conworlds with too many "unconventional" (not really by my standards) and boring things.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by fruityloops »

Axiem wrote: 25 Jan 2018 23:47
gestaltist wrote: 25 Jan 2018 23:29 I like your drawing style although I'm not a big fan of having women always be portrayed as half-naked
I agree with this sentiment. If you're going to do it, at least also make the men half-naked and attractive, as well. Some good beefcake can go a long way.
Image

i fixed it. it's still naked but hey i tired.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by elemtilas »

fruityloops! Nice intro to your world. Thanks for taking the plunge and revealing a little bit to us!
Reyzadren wrote: 26 Jan 2018 00:38 I shall give a minority opinion comment:

5/5 for your conworld. Anything with steampunk and magitek gets my attention! I also like the way you did your post: It gives a general overview of the conworld without being overly specific with details that I don't care about.
Agreed!

But now that the first toe-dip-in-the-frigid-hot-waters-of-geopoetic-revelation is over, time to bring on the details! Tales, histories, details both curious and unusual!
Additionally, I think that you should keep the half-naked women. There are already too many people/conworlds aiming for realism, that's even more of a cliche than yours. Your pictures are a breath of fresh air amongst conworlds with too many "unconventional" (not really by my standards) and boring things.
Also agreed. Go with your original vision --- if people in this world don't wear clothing, then, well, don't depict them with clothing! There are ways to get around a full-on anatomical assault image, and to be honest, your original image really wasn't all that nsfw or anything. Leastways in my opinion.

Question: you said they are invertebrates. Yet, their body shapes seem pretty clearly humanoid and the musculature and postures indicate an endoskeletal nature. Um, I'm confused as to which fact to accept.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by fruityloops »

elemtilas wrote: 26 Jan 2018 01:50 fruityloops! Nice intro to your world. Thanks for taking the plunge and revealing a little bit to us!
Reyzadren wrote: 26 Jan 2018 00:38 I shall give a minority opinion comment:

5/5 for your conworld. Anything with steampunk and magitek gets my attention! I also like the way you did your post: It gives a general overview of the conworld without being overly specific with details that I don't care about.
Agreed!

But now that the first toe-dip-in-the-frigid-hot-waters-of-geopoetic-revelation is over, time to bring on the details! Tales, histories, details both curious and unusual!
Additionally, I think that you should keep the half-naked women. There are already too many people/conworlds aiming for realism, that's even more of a cliche than yours. Your pictures are a breath of fresh air amongst conworlds with too many "unconventional" (not really by my standards) and boring things.
Also agreed. Go with your original vision --- if people in this world don't wear clothing, then, well, don't depict them with clothing! There are ways to get around a full-on anatomical assault image, and to be honest, your original image really wasn't all that nsfw or anything. Leastways in my opinion.

Question: you said they are invertebrates. Yet, their body shapes seem pretty clearly humanoid and the musculature and postures indicate an endoskeletal nature. Um, I'm confused as to which fact to accept.
i forgot to add some things to indicate that but the exoskeletons are a bit softer.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by fruityloops »

if anyone has any comments or questions, please ask.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by DesEsseintes »

I think this conworld sounds quite fun. I don’t play games, so I might well be mistaken, but this world feels like something that might easily be turned into an RPG or such.

I think you need quite a lot more content before people can start commenting for real. Have you written any stories set in this world?
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by fruityloops »

DesEsseintes wrote: 27 Jan 2018 04:20 I think this conworld sounds quite fun. I don’t play games, so I might well be mistaken, but this world feels like something that might easily be turned into an RPG or such.

I think you need quite a lot more content before people can start commenting for real. Have you written any stories set in this world?
Not yet, I'm still struggling on prose and I can't visualize very well. In addtion, my pacing is fast and I suck at paddling things out without it becoming repetitive. That's my reason for being reluctant.

So far I did have ideas for few short stories:
  • Two warriors from opposing tribes end up in a trench and slowly begin to see the other as something else than an enemy
  • a roach who lived in a house in his entire life goes off to see the outside world for the first time
  • a prequel of how the great goddess of earth and chaos, Centaraka, got banished
  • a to be queen bee uses her magic in order to save her hive by putting their souls into her, making her to insane.
  • A jumping spider explorer finds a shocking discovery
  • a tale of how a grasshopper gets cursed to turn into a locust
  • how the scarab empire fell
Besides those I have two major things in the works, a possible comic or book about a group of human teens who end up in my setting on an island called eden. The other one is about a swallowtail butterfly leaving his village to go off on a quest to find a staff that can save his garden home.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by Salmoneus »

Des is correct in saying there's not enough to really comment on, but I do have a few thoughts...


First, on naked women. I'm a big fan of naked women, in general, but cartoon naked fantasy women (and clothed men) is a bit of an eyeball-rolling "oh, teenage wish-fulfillment" trope, isn't it? But actually, I think that if you want naked women, there's a more serious point to make: how are you displaying them? Because the eyeballrolling trope more specifically has a certain sort of depiction of nudity: naked women are sexualised (but not threateningly so), implausible (your girl has full breasts, huge hips, and a tiny waist that's thinner than her head!)*, and are in some sort of "look how sexy I am, big boy!" displayed-for-our-pleasure pose. In this case, wiggling-butt-while-sashaying-with-head-held-high, and arms-behind-head-to-show-off-breasts-better. [seriously, other than in a sexualised context or caught right in the middle of yawning, how often do you see women standing facing you, elbows pulled up to their ears, with a grin on their face?] If you depicted naked women in other ways, that were less like a stereotypical pinup, that would be easier to take seriously.

[I think anything can be good art. So there's certainly room for a "1950s sexy pinup world", and not necessarily just in a context that's explicitly erotica. It's just... it's much harder to do that without looking silly and derivative.]

To give an example of what I mean, I happen recently to have had a certain nude statue called to my attention - the Diana the Huntress, by Houdon. Let's compare some naked women statues. [not safe for work, theoretically, although it's all just stone and metal statues, and Art].

Here we have a 'Diana' who is, as it were, saying "oui, I am a zexxy huntress! look how zexxy I em!". Nudity for the sexualised gaze.
Here we have a modern 'Diana' who is, as it were, saying "sure, I can stand here while you stare at my tits. (I'm just going to think about how much you're paying me for this)". Nudity for the sexualised gaze (and for terrible taste).
And here's one of the most famous statues, the Sexy-Arsed Venus (or 'Aphrodite Kallipygos'): it says, "wow, I've got a great arse. Look at how great my arse is! My arse is so great, I can't actually get through the day without stopping sometimes to take my dress off so I can look at my own sexy arse." (the discolouration is apparently the result of centuries of admirers kissing it). This is quite blatently nudity for the sexualised gaze, although of course since this is the Goddess of Love and Prostitutes we're talking about, that's kind of appropriate.

And then we have Houdon's "Diana". It is also a statue of a naked woman, but IT says [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ ... Houdon.jpg]"oh, a puny mortal, how irritating. Keep out of my way as I go past, or I'll shoot you."[/url] Note how her body is that of a fit, strong woman - someone who spends her immortal days chasing and killing things - her pose is in motion (caught in the moment, rather than being statically posed to receive the gaze), and her demeanour is haughty. She still has a very pretty bottom (that's a slightly different version by the same sculptor), but it's walking away from you, and she doesn't care whether you think it's sexy or not. Now of course, Houdon was a man, and he made these statues for men to look at, and he still made her look like a sexy naked woman, and some people would take issue with that. But he's made a naked woman statue that's both more realistic (those other Dianas have clearly never chased down a deer barefoot!) and more respectful (it's what a divine huntress probably would look like, rather than being a fantasy call girl adopting the pose of Diana as part of some sexy role play, which is what the others look like).


Obviously, I'm not saying "be Houdon". I'm just trying to say that if you want to have naked or semi-naked women pictures, but also don't want to look like this is just a stereotypical teenage fantasy excuse, you make it look a lot more 'respectable' just by changing how you portray women. Because actually, some women with clothes on, but in highly sexualised 'presentational' poses and with highly fantasised body shapes, can actually look more like cheap masturbation material than some naked women who actually look like they have independent reason for being.

It's not something I'd bother mentioning normally, but since the subject has been raised, I thought I'd contribute.


...well, that's the longest comment about female nudity in art that I've made in a while!

----------------------------
____________________________
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A contradiction: the world developed as normal at first but "trilobites" discovered how to bind magic forces into pillars. Now, my problem here, as you may be able to guess, is that trilobites are giant woodlice, on average between 3cm and 10cm in length. Even the largest trilobite, a full 70cm long, was less than 10cm high. They had extremely primitive and tiny brains, no hands, and so forth. Clearly the "trilobites" in question aren't really trilobites, so the world hadn't developed normally up to that point...


"flame" isn't a direction.

There's nothing specifically wrong with the "five magical elements (the fifth is in the middle and is spirit" thing, except that it's been done a billion times before. Why not six? Why not three? Why not seven?


I know this is petty, but the first three times in this thread we get the name of this conworld, you spell it differently: "verlyria", "verlyra", "velyra". [and it's also rather close to "valyria"...]
Last edited by Salmoneus on 28 Jan 2018 16:28, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

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I think the second to last link is wrong, which makes your point harder to get. I see the 'look at my arse' instead of 'in motion'.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by Axiem »

Again, my objection (such as it is) is not that there's sexualization or sexual poses of the character. We are sexual creatures, and (depending on your flavor of ethics) it's okay to enjoy drawing/looking at such art.

My objection (such as it is) is that there's a discernible trend to sexualize women in art, but not men, and it's a little exasperating to constantly be bombarded with images of attractive, sexualized women, but not men. (Often coupled with pseudo-scientific pablum about women not being visual; but I assure you, women do get turned on by sexualized images of men) One example of this sort of thing from TVTropes is Men Are Strong, Women Are Pretty, but really, if you look in fantasy art in general, it's not easy to find pictures of women wearing implausibly insufficient armor, while men are extremely covered in it. (See also things like the Hawkeye Initiative)

So, my recommendation, if you're going to sexualize the womenfolk, would be to also sexualize the menfolk. And even outside of the explicit gender dynamics, I think it's the sort of thing that can be helpful as an artist: learning to re-contextualize things and apply focus and consideration to things not necessarily in your normal purview. (Actually, learning to see the world from that different perspective can be helpful as a conworlder or an author in general). It might also help you re-evaluate your own gaze, and the latent assumptions and biases you have in your art.

And, while I have a pail of cold water to dash on hopes and dreams (very apologetically, I might add), it's worth noting that as pointed out on TVTropes' Male to Female Universal Adaptor animals have at times radically different genitalia from humans, and it's not therefore implausible to presume that were other types of animals to evolve into sapience, that would also manifest at radically different ideas about sex and sexuality, including what would be found attractive by an opposite member of the species. Perhaps, drawing from a cicada idea, there's something particular about certain leg joints that's simply arousing to them. Of course, this start going down the "realism vs. what audience wants/expects" rabbit hole, and most people are willing to forego disbelief and accept human sexuality in non-humans, but I just wanted to throw that out there.

That all said, I must say, I do really like your art style, and would like to see more of it. It has enough of a sketch-like quality to be intriguing, but has enough form and definition to show what something is.

And one last note, pursuant more to your other thread expressing trepidation about posting: the downside of attention is that sometimes people critique what you've posted, which can sometimes be really hard to hear (I know I've at times gotten good critique that really hurt, and took me a while to put my own emotions aside and at least evaluate the criticism as objectively as I could). Know that we all want to see you succeed and create Great Art. Well, okay, I certainly do, and I imagine other people do, as well. So go, create Great Art!
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by fruityloops »

Salmoneus wrote: 28 Jan 2018 01:14 Des is correct in saying there's not enough to really comment on, but I do have a few thoughts...


First, on naked women. I'm a big fan of naked women, in general, but cartoon naked fantasy women (and clothed men) is a bit of an eyeball-rolling "oh, teenage wish-fulfillment" trope, isn't it? But actually, I think that if you want naked women, there's a more serious point to make: how are you displaying them? Because the eyeballrolling trope more specifically has a certain sort of depiction of nudity: naked women are sexualised (but not threateningly so), implausible (your girl has full breasts, huge hips, and a tiny waist that's thinner than her head!)*, and are in some sort of "look how sexy I am, big boy!" displayed-for-our-pleasure pose. In this case, wiggling-butt-while-sashaying-with-head-held-high, and arms-behind-head-to-show-off-breasts-better. [seriously, other than in a sexualised context or caught right in the middle of yawning, how often do you see women standing facing you, elbows pulled up to their ears, with a grin on their face?] If you depicted naked women in other ways, that were less like a stereotypical pinup, that would be easier to take seriously.

[I think anything can be good art. So there's certainly room for a "1950s sexy pinup world", and not necessarily just in a context that's explicitly erotica. It's just... it's much harder to do that without looking silly and derivative.]

To give an example of what I mean, I happen recently to have had a certain nude statue called to my attention - the Diana the Huntress, by Houdon. Let's compare some naked women statues. [not safe for work, theoretically, although it's all just stone and metal statues, and Art].

Here we have a 'Diana' who is, as it were, saying "oui, I am a zexxy huntress! look how zexxy I em!". Nudity for the sexualised gaze.
Here we have a modern 'Diana' who is, as it were, saying "sure, I can stand here while you stare at my tits. (I'm just going to think about how much you're paying me for this)". Nudity for the sexualised gaze (and for terrible taste).
And here's one of the most famous statues, the Sexy-Arsed Venus (or 'Aphrodite Kallipygos'): it says, "wow, I've got a great arse. Look at how great my arse is! My arse is so great, I can't actually get through the day without stopping sometimes to take my dress off so I can look at my own sexy arse." (the discolouration is apparently the result of centuries of admirers kissing it). This is quite blatently nudity for the sexualised gaze, although of course since this is the Goddess of Love and Prostitutes we're talking about, that's kind of appropriate.

And then we have Houdon's "Diana". It is also a statue of a naked woman, but IT says "oh, a puny mortal, how irritating. Keep out of my way as I go past, or I'll shoot you." Note how her body is that of a fit, strong woman - someone who spends her immortal days chasing and killing things - her pose is in motion (caught in the moment, rather than being statically posed to receive the gaze), and her demeanour is haughty. She still has a very pretty bottom (that's a slightly different version by the same sculptor), but it's walking away from you, and she doesn't care whether you think it's sexy or not. Now of course, Houdon was a man, and he made these statues for men to look at, and he still made her look like a sexy naked woman, and some people would take issue with that. But he's made a naked woman statue that's both more realistic (those other Dianas have clearly never chased down a deer barefoot!) and more respectful (it's what a divine huntress probably would look like, rather than being a fantasy call girl adopting the pose of Diana as part of some sexy role play, which is what the others look like).


Obviously, I'm not saying "be Houdon". I'm just trying to say that if you want to have naked or semi-naked women pictures, but also don't want to look like this is just a stereotypical teenage fantasy excuse, you make it look a lot more 'respectable' just by changing how you portray women. Because actually, some women with clothes on, but in highly sexualised 'presentational' poses and with highly fantasised body shapes, can actually look more like cheap masturbation material than some naked women who actually look like they have independent reason for being.

It's not something I'd bother mentioning normally, but since the subject has been raised, I thought I'd contribute.


...well, that's the longest comment about female nudity in art that I've made in a while!

----------------------------
____________________________
-----------


A contradiction: the world developed as normal at first but "trilobites" discovered how to bind magic forces into pillars. Now, my problem here, as you may be able to guess, is that trilobites are giant woodlice, on average between 3cm and 10cm in length. Even the largest trilobite, a full 70cm long, was less than 10cm high. They had extremely primitive and tiny brains, no hands, and so forth. Clearly the "trilobites" in question aren't really trilobites, so the world hadn't developed normally up to that point...


"flame" isn't a direction.

There's nothing specifically wrong with the "five magical elements (the fifth is in the middle and is spirit" thing, except that it's been done a billion times before. Why not six? Why not three? Why not seven?


I know this is petty, but the first three times in this thread we get the name of this conworld, you spell it differently: "verlyria", "verlyra", "velyra". [and it's also rather close to "valyria"...]


Several things to point out:
  • yes, I know I may have chosen it did to being simple but I have heard someones complaint about it being a generic magic system. I might as well just say the five elements of nature but there is a sixth one: share which is shadow magic
  • I am aware of this. There's a trend where each eras animals get smarter and smarter by each period. I think I might is it call them the ancients and handwave this with make them a different species.
  • yeah I'm well aware of the inconsistent names I have for my world. I'm just trying to settle for one that rolls off the tonuge better. Same goes for my book series that goes from geokai, kaiego, to xeigard, to guardoz.
I do appreciate the feedback though. Now I feel like it just fell apart very quickly.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by Salmoneus »

Creyeditor wrote: 28 Jan 2018 01:23 I think the second to last link is wrong, which makes your point harder to get. I see the 'look at my arse' instead of 'in motion'.
Dammit. Hopefully fixed now.
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by elemtilas »

fruityloops wrote: 27 Jan 2018 23:22
DesEsseintes wrote: 27 Jan 2018 04:20 I think this conworld sounds quite fun. I don’t play games, so I might well be mistaken, but this world feels like something that might easily be turned into an RPG or such.

I think you need quite a lot more content before people can start commenting for real. Have you written any stories set in this world?
Not yet, I'm still struggling on prose and I can't visualize very well. In addtion, my pacing is fast and I suck at paddling things out without it becoming repetitive. That's my reason for being reluctant.

So far I did have ideas for few short stories:
Spoiler:
  • Two warriors from opposing tribes end up in a trench and slowly begin to see the other as something else than an enemy
  • a roach who lived in a house in his entire life goes off to see the outside world for the first time
  • a prequel of how the great goddess of earth and chaos, Centaraka, got banished
  • a to be queen bee uses her magic in order to save her hive by putting their souls into her, making her to insane.
  • A jumping spider explorer finds a shocking discovery
  • a tale of how a grasshopper gets cursed to turn into a locust
  • how the scarab empire fell
Besides those I have two major things in the works, a possible comic or book about a group of human teens who end up in my setting on an island called eden. The other one is about a swallowtail butterfly leaving his village to go off on a quest to find a staff that can save his garden home.
All of these I think would make excellent short stories! If you're struggling at writing prose, they don't even have to be long short stories. Me I'd really like to see how you develop Queen Bee as a story. For example, could there be an origin myth lurking behind this story, the myth that explains how the Bees' hive nature came into existence? That would be an interesting story on many levels!

All in all, stories is an excellent place to really enegise the worldbuilding. Stories and geopoesy feed off of one another: you can't write the story without the world being there; you can't really describe the world without telling its narrative.

As you write these little stories, even if they're not so good at first, you'll find that the world expands exponentially and you'll also eventually get better at writing stories! I'd like to say "pick an easy one from the list and start telling it to us", but any one of these can easily get out of hand and expand into something ever larger in scope. Maybe start with the young Jumping Spider explorer? Where is she coming from? Where is she going? What shocking thing did she discover? What's the cliff-hanger for the next story...?
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by elemtilas »

Axiem wrote: 28 Jan 2018 02:37 My objection (such as it is) is that there's a discernible trend to sexualize women in art, but not men, and it's a little exasperating to constantly be bombarded with images of attractive, sexualized women, but not men.
Have a trawl over at DeviantArt some time. The sexualisation of the male in the visual arts will become evident in short order! Some of it's really quite nicely done; others, not so. Just as it is for the female.

[;)]
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by elemtilas »

Salmoneus wrote: 28 Jan 2018 16:29
Creyeditor wrote: 28 Jan 2018 01:23 I think the second to last link is wrong, which makes your point harder to get. I see the 'look at my arse' instead of 'in motion'.
Dammit. Hopefully fixed now.
Yes. What she says to me, and I think kind of what you're getting at re implausibly adolescent cartoon posing vs normal posing, is yeah, I'm naked. So what. Um. I'm off to the hunt now --- see ya! Everything is there, pleasing to the eye, but not disgustingly or provocatively on display for the purpose of being on display. It's a normal pose. She's just doing her everyday thing.

Maybe, Fruityloops, try that with the female in the original picture? Like the male figure on the left: just show her as she is, doing what she ordinarily does every day. She'll still be beautiful, she'll still be naked, but you won't be pretending she's just a sex object. You've given the guy some armour and big weapons. Give the girl some symbol of queenly majesty or cultural duty. Show that the girl's both strong and beautiful, just like you did with the boy!
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fruityloops
cuneiform
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Re: world introduction: verlyria

Post by fruityloops »

Image

here's a new one.
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