Jokes

[GrandPiano]

Spoiler:

[HoskhMatriarch]

IT'S PIE!

[atman]

Ceci n'est pas une PIE .



Really, Indo-European studies are a neverending source of jokes, see here:

viewtopic.php?f=29&t=3170&start=140

[cntrational]

that's amazing

[Dormouse559]

Ceci n'est pas une PIE .

That has at least three levels to it. I'm not sure how neatly they all fit together, but it is quite intriguing.

[Sḿtuval]

I found this one hilarious (though I'm one for stupid puns).
If you don't speak Spanish you won't get this.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken on the other side said, "¡Pa'cá!"

For those who don't get it:

Spoiler:

pa'cá is a contraction of para acá over here

Chickens make "buhcaw" sounds, and pa'cá sounds like that.

[loglorn]

I found this one hilarious (though I'm one for stupid puns).
If you don't speak Spanish you won't get this.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken on the other side said, "¡Pa'cá!"

For those who don't get it:

Spoiler:

pa'cá is a contraction of para acá over here

Chickens make "buhcaw" sounds, and pa'cá sounds like that.

It seems Portuguese and Spanish have quite different onomatopoeia for chicken. Chickens make cocó

[Sḿtuval]

It's more of an English-Spanish bilingual joke, since "buhcaw" is English onomatopoeia. Spanish is "cocó" or similar.

[Khemehekis]

Canta el gallo, canta el gallo
Con el quiri, quiri, quiri, quiri, quiri.
La gallina, la gallina
Con el cara, cara, cara, cara, cara.
Los polluelos, los polluelos
Con el pío, pío, pío, pío, pí.

And then there's the alien bird joke, "Why did the chick incross the road?":

viewtopic.php?f=30&t=2014&p=188957#p188957

[Dormouse559]

These French jokes work pretty well in English.



Funny answers from elementary school:

Question: In the sentence "The thief stole some apples", where is the subject?
Answer: In prison.

Q: The future of "I yawn" is …
A: I sleep.

Q: Potable water is …
A: The kind you can put in a pot.

Q: The cat has four paws
A: Two in front to run, two in back to brake.

Q: Who was the first colonist in America?*
A: Christopher.

Q: When I say, "I am beautiful", what tense is that?
A: Past.

* The word for "colonist" (colon) is a homophone with the French version of Christopher Columbus' last name, "Christophe Colomb". So in speech the question could also mean "Who was the first Columbus in America?"

[HoskhMatriarch]

Funny answers from elementary school:

...

Q: Potable water is …
A: The kind you can put in a pot.

So these are things little French kids actually said?

It's also amazing how that pun works in English too... Although, I find the English word "potable" annoying.

[Dormouse559]

So these are things little French kids actually said?

No idea. It's just an image I saw on Facebook.

It's also amazing how that pun works in English too... Although, I find the English word "potable" annoying.

It is an odd one. I personally say "drinkable" most of the time, unless there's a specific reason to say "potable".

[eldin raigmore]

Never criticize a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you do criticize them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

[clawgrip]

Is that Jack Handey?

[eldin raigmore]

Is that Jack Handey?

No AFAIK; I got it from Click&Clack the Tappet Brothers. I think they said who they got it from but I didn't remember.

[Dormouse559]

It tried to be a joke … It really did.

Warning: The image is very large

Spoiler:

It's an ad for a gym that reads:

Vous êtes grosses, vous êtes moches …
Payez 19€90 et soyez seulement moches !

You're fat, you're ugly …
Pay 19.90€ and only be ugly!

And of course the picture is of a thin model (with perfect makeup at the gym). Le facepalm

[Lao Kou]

Feminine plural adjectives. Guess guys get to be as fat and ugly as they wanna be. Pass the bacon and mashed potaters.

Though judging by the URL, I'm not the only one who noticed. Le facepalm est bien mérité.

[HoskhMatriarch]

DOWN VITH THE LABIOVELAR APPROXIMANT!

I found myself saying "down with the labiovelar approximant" today, because I just don't really like it and I've noticed that many other conlangers seem not to too (I mean, only 50% of conlangs seem to have it, as opposed to about 73% of natlangs), but then I realized the word "with" contained one, so I had to replace it with /v/.

[loglorn]

DOWN VITH THE LABIOVELAR APPROXIMANT!

I found myself saying "down with the labiovelar approximant" today, because I just don't really like it and I've noticed that many other conlangers seem not to too (I mean, only 50% of conlangs seem to have it, as opposed to about 73% of natlangs), but then I realized the word "with" contained one, so I had to replace it with /v/.

*DOVN VITH IT (although i like the way it sounds, couldn't lose the joke)

[HoskhMatriarch]

DOWN VITH THE LABIOVELAR APPROXIMANT!

I found myself saying "down with the labiovelar approximant" today, because I just don't really like it and I've noticed that many other conlangers seem not to too (I mean, only 50% of conlangs seem to have it, as opposed to about 73% of natlangs), but then I realized the word "with" contained one, so I had to replace it with /v/.

*DOVN VITH IT (although i like the way it sounds, couldn't lose the joke)

/aʊ̯/ is a singular phoneme in English, so I don't think it would have to be changed to [av], but haha.