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Shanoxilt's Surreal, Syntax-Bending Poetry Translation Challenge

Posted: Sat 13 Jan 2018, 19:29
by shanoxilt
Hey, everyone.

The following is a series of Dadaist and surrealist poems that I made using Burroughs' cut-up technique. If this garners enough responses, perhaps we can collect the translations into a document for others to peruse.

Thank you for your interest, effort, and time. Let the challenge begin!
extra silence

Unmerciful world,
You of us are mother,
here our language high and silvered,
with the calm I answer.

Re: Shanoxilt's Surreal, Syntax-Bending Poetry Translation Challenge

Posted: Sat 13 Jan 2018, 21:31
by Isfendil
Otoiro Aniero,
Edi Basitti Maa,
Neiγaσta basisιrlω vani midani,
Aσappa deiqunu
[otoˌiro A.nˈjer.o]
World ABE-kind-ABE
[edi bas.ˈitːi maː]
2.S.ABS 1.P.OBL-GEN mother
[ne.iˈɣa.ʃta ˈbas.iˈ.sɨɾlɒ van.i miˈdan.i]
place-DEM-LOC 1.P-REL-tongue high-REL bright-REL
[ˈaʃ.apːa ˈdejk͡ŭ.nu]
calm-INS reply-1.S

the periods in the IPA are the morpheme boundaries and have no phonological value.

Re: Shanoxilt's Surreal, Syntax-Bending Poetry Translation Challenge

Posted: Mon 15 Jan 2018, 04:36
by Imralu
shanoxilt wrote:
Sat 13 Jan 2018, 19:29
Hey, everyone.

The following is a series of Dadaist and surrealist poems that I made using Burroughs' cut-up technique. If this garners enough responses, perhaps we can collect the translations into a document for others to peruse.

Thank you for your interest, effort, and time. Let the challenge begin!
extra silence

Unmerciful world,
You of us are mother,
here our language high and silvered,
with the calm I answer.
It wasn't until I had quoted you that I even saw the poem. I was about to write "The following what?" The stupid new look of the board means I can't tell where people's signatures begin, so I just completely blocked out the meat of your post because my brain decided that was a signature. Rahrg!

Re: Shanoxilt's Surreal, Syntax-Bending Poetry Translation Challenge

Posted: Mon 15 Jan 2018, 06:40
by shanoxilt
Imralu wrote:
Mon 15 Jan 2018, 04:36
It wasn't until I had quoted you that I even saw the poem. I was about to write "The following what?" The stupid new look of the board means I can't tell where people's signatures begin, so I just completely blocked out the meat of your post because my brain decided that was a signature. Rahrg!
I tried to use the code block, but it didn't allow me to underline the poem's title.

Here's the next one.

[romantic narrative]

Code: Select all

under the doting calm beneath the waves:

-the silence breaks-

N1 radiates eye drops

loss of their hive

Re: Shanoxilt's Surreal, Syntax-Bending Poetry Translation Challenge

Posted: Thu 18 Jan 2018, 00:55
by Reyzadren
:con: griuskant (without the conscript)

thak wus thak erdaskcausk
/θak 'wus θak 'erdasktʃausk/
down calm down water.wave

sowaeik rygan
/'sɔweik 'rYgan/
quiet stop-V-PASS

evas smoeza aunerdask
/'evas 'smɯza 'aunərdask/
something disperse-V eye.water

raesesae roilshurvon
/'resəse 'rɔilʃurvɔn/
3PL-POSS home.none-NN

Re: Shanoxilt's Surreal, Syntax-Bending Poetry Translation Challenge

Posted: Thu 18 Jan 2018, 01:04
by shanoxilt
grammar is noise

Code: Select all

Mold: all original ideas, 
shadow and noise words: hidden body text;
It's a subconscious mindset.
Hide all contact points on the invention of the displaced feeling 
and his subconscious thoughts.
I felt a lot of pain sensations from sleep;
body that joins the recognition of the word,
ordered flexibility of painful feelings.
Comply with the rules and syntax of common identity.
Painful feelings know no grammar.

Re: Shanoxilt's Surreal, Syntax-Bending Poetry Translation Challenge

Posted: Thu 18 Jan 2018, 01:45
by Ser
Imralu wrote:
Mon 15 Jan 2018, 04:36
It wasn't until I had quoted you that I even saw the poem. I was about to write "The following what?" The stupid new look of the board means I can't tell where people's signatures begin, so I just completely blocked out the meat of your post because my brain decided that was a signature. Rahrg!
I have the same problem. But I think it's also shanoxilt's fault for using a confounding [ hr ] there. What is that doing there at all?

Re: Shanoxilt's Surreal, Syntax-Bending Poetry Translation Challenge

Posted: Mon 20 Aug 2018, 01:47
by shanoxilt
[/quote]
I have the same problem. But I think it's also shanoxilt's fault for using a confounding [ hr ] there. What is that doing there at all?
[/quote]
I am used to Reddit's formatting synax; I assumed it would look similar.