CBB Conlang Relay XVI (DONE!)

[VaptuantaDoi]

To be precise, it wasn't actually monocrotaline. It was some molecule which I couldn't begin to identify, so I just google imagesed it and that was the closest thing. Then I used a literal translation of monocrotaline (single-rattle-substance) to create Takei-Taddatadda-Ekegateka, intended as a descriptive name 'he-who-has-a-single-rattle'. Somehow within a few texts it returned to something that made sense anyway.

I also appreciate the variety of carnivora displayed in both rings - lynxes, a leopard, a wild cat, a mongoose, an otter, a bobcat, a cougar, and a generic 'angry beast'.

[opipik]

I'm afraid my torch and translation were accidentally excluded from the writeup, even though I did send them to Dzêta.

[Acipencer]

The wrong version of my torch was posted. Two days after I sent the torch to Üdj, I realized I had made a mistake and I sent him a correction (he confirmed that he had received it). I then sent the corrected torch to Dzêta, but I never got a response from him. Bellow is the corrected torch.

Torch in Shetën Karpa:

Spoiler:

Poshem bilë usmaili kurpët shëtëyeshe. Sën darta poshem shëkeres. Minë loran tumshun wirtë shan wintë, mi sinë usmailnë bilë shan sinës lasalna këwërmë. Sin banshek pem ratkikap nitkë mi minë loranis ishpat lasalni kënipën. Sënëk këkereskap poshemnë dolmën gitis kërgitëk pem shan loran mikë wolna godit shëberesh.

“Tumshun wirtë atas an shëmarkë!” mi këpeshte. “Eshkampesh ata odënkap wintë, atak bet osha shëshok, lasalna gosilem shërerot. Ter darya, shetë tumshus poshemnë minë lorani su ështop bai pelkornëkap panokarpë burme!” mi këpeshte. Mi kerdë darya oyët këratki.

Sin mengasmi ninapkëkap nitkë loranëk shëshka usmail darya pe usmail an bodu she. Sënëk këkereskap poshem oyët këshërbanor. Sinëk mosen isën mar an gerelkap wintë, loran oyët këodën. Yënkodi ter sinëk ori lasalna këbanor.

Shetë idër panokarpënë këburkap poshem wërmëm kërotkam, këodën mensë. Shetë koptën sham wintë. Ata shetë rotpita shërelët. Ata shëbailkë!

[pachelbel]

Also would love to know the origin/context of banana** in Ring 2.

Here, have the notes to which those asterisks in the Bodin-English translation correspond:

* I translate the Bodin third person animate singular pronoun, which doesn't distinguish gender, as ey/em/eir/eirs/emself in English.
** This was a conworld-native horn-shaped fruit in the previous torch; I picked the closest thing available.
*** An effort to encapsulate as many senses of the previous torch's "lump, blob, mold, fungus" as possible.

[Arayaz]

Sorry about not sending the English to Dzêta - an oversight on my part. I'm currently far from home, on a different device, and can't access it, but in around five days I'll get it to you.

Mesul (the origin of the banana) in fact referred to a horn here... "Call from there to the banana" seems to have originated from the fact that "to blow a horn" is expressed as "call horn-INSTRUMENTAL", and the instrumental is the dative.

[qwed117]

I find it interesting how this time, a lot of the changes in Ring 2 originate in some translational choice in HTAP.

Spoiler:

• "A man wanders with misfortune for seventy-two months." ← "There once was a man who was a father of six" ← ❬Phyün1 thwá1 ges1 ha phyò2 ár3, hèm4ma1 tray3❭ "There was a man who had six children, many years ago"
  • It looks like the phrase ❬phyò2 ár3❭ lit. 'had six' and the phrase ❬hèm4ma1 tray3❭ lit. 'done many years' both threw it off; their non-literal meanings are 'had six children' and 'many years ago'
• "Give her a daughter’s clothes" ← " Because his son was seventeen" ← ❬mráw1 öp mòt4 kat4töw1 m ing2❭ "Being seventeen"
  • It looks like ❬mráw1 öp mòt4❭ lit. 'being of '; the word ❬mòt4❭ more or less means 'part' but is used as a partitive particle too, identifying if things are formed 'of' a substance, eg "a slice of cake", and for ages. This got translated into a locative, being at piece 17, then to wearing seventeen pieces, at which point it became clothes
• "There is an angry beast inside the man, like an arrogant daughter." ← "It was there that someone like his child would become a hunter and proud adult who would be hoped would mend and become one within the bobcat clan" ← "❬da1kuá3ang2 ğay4 mráw1 yě1kua4 zrü3 ges1 m guö4 rőj3hen2 ha mráw1 rup3 khá2 se1ki2 ling2 mët3thi2 trèng2 phí2 öng1❭ "There someone becomes a hunter, and a proud man that would become straight [NB: idiom for "behave"] within the lynx tribe like his child"
  • I want to say the word 'mend' was used in the text (although I do not remember exactly) and wanted to make something that, while saying "join" also had some semantics related to being sown into something greater than oneself, in the English translation. I think my actual translation of the sentence is much simpler than the one I wrote for Atruozan . The word ❬rőj3hen2❭ can take on meanings like 'proud', 'prideful' but also 'arrogant', and I think the use of the beastmen made it lean towards the latter.
• “Because you injured a wasp" ← "the shaman's Amanita tea [an entheogen]" ← ❬dè3 gue3 zís2 gu2❭ "the Amanita tea"
  • It looks like ❬dè3 gue3 zís2 gu2❭ lit. 'tea kill mosquito mushroom' didn't fully escape translation; the fly agaric is called the "poison fly parasol" in Chinese, and has generally similar names cross-linguistically, cf. French amanite tue-mouches 'fly killing Amanita'.
• "The man has must kill the beast inside itself… and afterwards the daughter dies" ← "Before I would find my beloved child dead" ← ❬hway2 myo1 phí2 hoy3, da1kuí3 ges1, trèng2 hwa3 u1 phí2 hoy3❭ "Before I, that man, 's finding that child of mine dead"
  • This was a choice that came in part because the Atruozan text makes the particular (I assume, cultural) decision to abruptly move from third person to first person-undepersonalizing the narrative. I figured that for the next person that would be confusing, so I decided to indicate in an appositive that the speaker is the aforementioned hunter. Evidently that actually ended up causing more confusion since it seemed to suggest that the speaker was finding "that man"- the 'beast man'.
• "Their(MASC) spirits wander in the water" ← "his spirit guided to the heavens" ← ❬phus2 khá2 prua3 jó2❭ "her spirit within the sea"
  • I (it looks correctly) understood this part in the original text as just being a metaphor for death; I translated it with something more apt to the fishing people that the HTAPpians are. I'm surprised that it was staticked and not continuously changed by cultural understandings of death and understood as such
• "Take three of the daughters’ articles of clothing to the people that live near" ← "there was someone of twenty four years to save him" ← ❬phyün1 lüt4 yě1kua4 ha mráw1 mòt4 rö3zöw3 m huam2ma1❭ "there was someone who was 24 and saved [her]"
  • The added affect of the partitive and the number 24 in the octal HTAPpian system appears to have caused the dramatic shift here. I noted the tens numbers as "two-eight, 2-8", "three-eight, 3-8", etc., and when asked said to reference the Pamean system, another base-8 system.
• "They(MASC) nurtured me" ← "but because my son's preparation that I had left behind was unfinished" ← ❬Gu khra3'et í kő1'ang süh3tö1 hoy3 öng1 phrò'1❭ "but the preparation that I wanted to give him"
  • What actually happened here (namely the reentry of the word 'mushroom' and from there the word 'growth' and thus 'nurturing') is actually a mistake from near homophony; the word ❬gu4❭ 'but', which usually has the tone mark excluded was confused with the word ❬gu2❭ 'mushroom', which always has a tone mark. Admittedly the phrase in some way "got" fixed to a not un-understandable interpretation.

[Arayaz]

Here's my English text, separated by line:

Free translation:

Spoiler:

1. The man wandered for six rough years.
2. An animal lived inside the man.
3. He offered his daughter to the gods,
4. and he gave her six years' worth of clothing.
5. He gave the clothing to her because she still moved like a child.
6. The animal that had lived inside the man was a lion,
7. very much like his arrogant daughter.
8. "Your sacred offering is beginning!" he said.
9. "The wasp stung you, so your father is making medicine."
10. "And your clothes need repairing."
11. "From there, I, the sacred man, will blow a horn for his daughter and gather mushrooms!" he said.
12. He left the house.
13. She would eat the fruits because she was sick for nine years.
14. The animal that had inhabited the man killed itself.
15. Its soul descended into the old water, and the daughter died afterward.
16. The locals took her three clothes.
17. I gave them the mushrooms I gathered.
* There may have been another short sentence here I skipped over ...
18. I am angry because you copied my work.
19. But you shall soon learn!

Literal:

Spoiler:

1. The man wandered in hardship for twenty-four seasons.
2. There was an animal inside the man.
3. He carried his daughter for the gods,
4. [and] clothes that last six years moved from him to his daughter.
5. Because the daughter moved in the manner of a child, the clothes moved from him to his daughter.
6. The animal that was inside the man was an angry fearsome animal,
7. like the arrogant daughter.
8. "Your [sacred] gift is beginning!" he said.
9. "Because the wasp [lit. buzzer] injured you, your father is making the leaf of health."
10. "[And] your clothes require fixedness."

[I currently don't have the literal translations after this point; if anyone needs them I can try to dig them up.)

[DzêtaRedfang]

• I want to say the word 'mend' was used in the text (although I do not remember exactly) and wanted to make something that, while saying "join" also had some semantics related to being sown into something greater than oneself, in the English translation.

The exact word used was pøëmöstäcyã, which means to sew, ultimately, and from that, to group things together. Now, the metaphor for joining something is « being sewn into » it, rather than merged

There may honestly be enough information in the torch to take it down to its actual root, which is ëmö (« clothing »). It’s effectively built off of « DIM-clothing-creation_tool » (sewing needle, or little sewing knife).

• This was a choice that came in part because the Atruozan text makes the particular (I assume, cultural) decision to abruptly move from third person to first person-undepersonalizing the narrative.

It’s more the timing that’s culturally motivated, although with context even the use of I instead of referring back to the man in the final sentence can show some of the depth of his sorrow and regret. In Arinas tradition, stories told for the purpose of moral or life lessons are all to be in the third person. Ergo, even if experienced firsthand, the story ought be fully depersonalised. He should have maintained the third person, at least until the last sentence, but he cracked.

• I (it looks correctly) understood this part in the original text as just being a metaphor for death. I'm surprised that it was staticked and not continuously changed by cultural understandings of death and understood as such

I’m somewhat surprised too, to be honest. For context, the Atruozan text, translated more literally, says « since my child’s…spirit was helped be guided ». After death, the person’s spirit goes on a journey to Mt. Müklä, where they are then guided to the aurora by the Great Hoary Bat Spirit. So, the funerary rites involve trying to aid their spirit during the first few days of their journey to make it there. There is an implied «  to the mountain/aurora » in the use of the metaphor.

[opipik]

Here's my Wangrit torch:

Spoiler:

ganvrəŋgəm teken a faŋgraf ehədhakrebarh ŋəmbrumi. nimgen a fərikun awi paŋgrafmi. funduŋgre kəmbə ɲin anmikənne ɲigəmne wan ehədhakre ŋəmbru yurak ŋən, yupraŋgim teken ŋəm yiŋgamatmi kipraremi ɲimi ewarh ɲugrumbutrebarh. nimgen wan riŋgu mikən yəmbe puŋgun garambit wənmərimbepre mit ŋəmi, teken wan kumbit ŋəm manbakmi nən. warabiwun gaŋmutu wan mikən ɲigəm epaŋgrafin nər pərikunin wan gaŋɲimgen wan riŋgu ɲim wan yəp kvrandakre. "min yagu eyiŋgamatmi!" ari tamgan ɲin. "ŋarat aʔinap ebiriŋin migən wan funduŋgre gaŋyabam gaŋkendun ɲin, yupraŋgim min pihin awi wənpisitmi, ɲifa awi wənkəgunmi, tugun awi ekweretmi wahneŋgrebum yəmbe mikrebum ɲigəmne!" ari tamgan ɲin. naŋgwarap teken ɲim ndubrənmi pun. yagum warik krumut anmikənmi ehədhakrebarh tabarmi pun kavrəŋmi nən, əhəŋgət tunduŋ gaŋɲirər ŋən. naŋgwarap epaŋgraf gaŋtekem gaŋɲifa ɲin. naŋgwarap dambrin anmikən, yupraŋgim teken yəpŋgat mit kuvrenbiwunmi hedvraremi nən. wənmərimbepre bimbak ŋəgəm tekem ɲifa en brəwimbitin vrabakmi. pim kərem kəmbə gan epaŋgraf wan kəgun gaŋɲifa ɲin, ɲirəmbət gaŋdambrin ɲim ŋəruwak, yupraŋgim warik yesrembən gami. ayəmbun pigəm bragan gam wəre mutu waŋu min. min yagdak!

[Arayaz]

The added affect of the partitive and the number 24 in the octal HTAPpian system appears to have caused the dramatic shift here. I noted the tens numbers as "two-eight, 2-8", "three-eight, 3-8", etc., and when asked said to reference the Pamean system, another base-8 system.

Hold on, what's up with all the octal numeral systems in this relay? There seem to be at least three.

[Iyionaku]

The added affect of the partitive and the number 24 in the octal HTAPpian system appears to have caused the dramatic shift here. I noted the tens numbers as "two-eight, 2-8", "three-eight, 3-8", etc., and when asked said to reference the Pamean system, another base-8 system.

Hold on, what's up with all the octal numeral systems in this relay? There seem to be at least three.

At least for me, it wasn't an octal system - instead I completely and utterly butchered the translation from qwed. That has never happened to me! In all the relays I participated in, including the one I led, I managed to get a quite faithful translation - and who would have guessed that an isolating language will trip me so much, not even counting the numbers!
I didn't catch on that this is a base-8 system and somehow glossed over their comment with the Pamean system. Therefore, all numbers from our queue were completely meaningless from the start. I had sentences that, while absolutely wrong, at least sound hilarious:

"He prepared his child (...) who were born 5-8 and 6 years old,"
"The daughter of the beastman was located at part 2-8 and one, the daughter went there, like all children"
"Before I found that man, the daughter died (...) where somebody existed and saved 3/8 of her. "

Of course I knew it was completely wrong, but I was already past the 72 hours mark so I decided to send it anyway. Now had I known that other people interpret the turnaround time a lot more freely and ring 2 would be finished around six weeks before ring 1... I guess I would have taken it a little more lightly and tried to save the numbers here.

[DzêtaRedfang]

Now had I known that other people interpret the turnaround time a lot more freely and ring 2 would be finished around six weeks before ring 1... I guess I would have taken it a little more lightly and tried to save the numbers here.

Hey, I at least appreciate the effort to stay more on schedule!

[pachelbel]

Hold on, what's up with all the octal numeral systems in this relay? There seem to be at least three.

Bodin is base 16 so does it count as two more octal systems? :D

also on the topic of changing timeframes, the reason the Bodin torch changed the preceding "6 years" and "8 years" to 72/96 months is because the Carebin month length is close to ours (32 days), but the calendar year length isn't (256 days) and the orbital year even less so (27 Earth years).

[Man in Space]

This is amazing. It’s like we’re watching NIST reconstruct how an accident happened.

[protondonor]

I didn't realize the relay had ended already—here's my torch, so you all can see what happened in ring 1.

[Arayaz]

So when's the next relay?

I didn't realize the relay had ended already—here's my torch, so you all can see what happened in ring 1.

By the way, this is insane.

[Iyionaku]

I didn't realize the relay had ended already—here's my torch, so you all can see what happened in ring 1.

This is so cool and truly original!
However, I can't help but feel sorry for VaptuantaDoi.

[VaptuantaDoi]

I didn't realize the relay had ended already—here's my torch, so you all can see what happened in ring 1.

This is so cool and truly original!
However, I can't help but feel sorry for VaputantaDoi.