Jokes

[Arayaz]

My life.

Is it a funny one?

More like a cruel one, it seems.

Unfortunate.

[Dormouse559]

— What does a French person say when they’re starving to death?
— C’est la faim de ma vie !

Faim “hunger” and fin “end” are both pronounced /fɛ̃/ (and both take feminine agreement), so in speech, the phrase above means either “This is the hunger of a lifetime” or “This is the end of my life”.

[prettydragoon]

Which month in the French Revolutionary calendar commemorates the ancient Martian religion?

Thernidor.

Spoiler:

One of the months in the French Revolutionary calendar was called Thermidor (July-August). And it was the priestly caste called Holy Therns that upheld the ancient Martian religion explored in The Gods of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

[WeepingElf]

Here's an untranslatable German joke about Dutch:

Was haben Hunde und holländische Telefone gemeinsam? - Sie bellen.

Spoiler:

The literal translation would be: 'What do dogs and Dutch telephones have in common? - They bark.' The Dutch word for 'to ring' (of a bell) is bellen, which means 'to bark' in German.

[Man in Space]

Pagliacci walks into a bar.

[eldin raigmore]

What do 53dIM or 53dlM mean to anyone here?
WIPES

[Arayaz]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo."

[Man in Space]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.

The bar is in Australia. The rabbit didn’t stand a chance.

[Khemehekis]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar.

The bar is in Australia. The rabbit didn’t stand a chance.

Q: What is the difference between a soldier from the Greatest Generation and a president from the Boomer Generation?

A: The Greatest soldier says, "I ambush Hitler"; the Boomer president says "I am Bushitler".

[eldin raigmore]

I posted this in a thread about zero-morphemes.

There was a young man from Kab
Whose inflections all ended with n
He said "it is n
but an empty sl
where the slot is usually f"

I think it might be a bon mot type of humor? (Something funny in the context it was first said in?)

[Arayaz]

I posted this in a thread about zero-morphemes.

There was a young man from Kab
Whose inflections all ended with n
He said "it is n
but an empty sl
where the slot is usually f"

I think it might be a bon mot type of humor? (Something funny in the context it was first said in?)

If the man was from Kull instead of Kab:

THere was a young man from Kull
Whose inflections all ended with null
He said "it is not"
But an empty slot
Where the slot is usually full.

[Khemehekis]

If the man was from Kull instead of Kab:

I think he means Kabul.

[Arayaz]

If the man was from Kull instead of Kab:

I think he means Kabul.

Ahhhh. I don't know geography.

[eldin raigmore]

If the man was from Kull instead of Kab:

I think he means Kabul.

Yes! With the stress on the second syllable “-bul”! That fits the limerickish meter better!
And I meant “naught” instead of “not”. Though that might be a difference of small import!
(“Naught” is a synonym for “nothing”!)
….
Think the meter would have been better if I had said “fellow” instead of “man”?

[Khemehekis]

Think the meter would have been better if I had said “fellow” instead of “man”?

Actually, you said "young man". With the accent on the second syllable of "Kabul", "young man" (usually accented on the MAN part in limerick openers)
has the accent on the right syllable, while "fellow" has the accent on the wrong syllable.

[eldin raigmore]

Actually, you said "young man". With the accent on the second syllable of "Kabul", "young man" (usually accented on the MAN part in limerick openers)
has the accent on the right syllable, while "fellow" has the accent on the wrong syllable.

Oops! You’re right!

[Arayaz]

Okay, so I've still yet to find my Navajo jokebook, but I'll share one that I sorta remember from it.

The English translation of the joke goes like this: A boy gets frustrated with his grandfather and says "Oh, I hope you go to hell!" (lit. "See the Devil"). The grandfather responds "That's right, you and your mother are going there next week!"

The joke works because "see the devil" is very similar to "visit the city" in Navajo. The grandfather is hard of hearing and mistakes the former for the latter. Actually, the book contains several other jokes that make fun of the elderly this way. Maybe it's a cultural thing?

A similar story for some Klallam stories/jokes. There's one called Two Deaf Fishermen that goes roughly like this (this is from memory, and with a more English-style telling):

Two deaf men go fishing and meet each other.
One shouts to the other, "What are you doing? Are you going fishing?"
So the other says, "No, I'm going fishing."
So then the first one says, "Oh, I thought you were going fishing."

[eldin raigmore]

(Not original with me! You can find a version on Reddit.)

Q: How do you say “non-binary” in Spanish?

A: Either “no binario” or “no binaria”, depending on the gender of the person you’re describing or referring to.

[Arayaz]

(Not original with me! You can find a version on Reddit.)

Q: How do you say “non-binary” in Spanish?

A: Either “no binario” or “no binaria”, depending on the gender of the person you’re describing or referring to.

no binarie?

[Shemtov]

NB: The scientific facts presented in the set-up are all true, it is only the punchline that is the joke.

Until recently, Biologists have believed that the Blue Whale is the Largest Animal to ever live in the history of Life on Earth. However, Paleontologists have discovered an extinct whale species, from a lineage that is totally extinct, that might have weighed more then even the Blue Whale. But, the problem is, this is based on its unusual bones for a Cetacean, which suggest that in addition to being an example of convergent evolution with the blue Whale in terms of size, this new fossil also Convergently Evolved the build, lifestyle, and niche of the Manatee. If this is true, the fact that it is extinct makes me say "Oh- the Huge Manatee!".